A former gang member shares her story of finding purpose amid addiction and incarceration.
Chantel is a program manager for Str8 Up, an organization that helps transition gang members out of addiction and away from that lifestyle. A former gang member herself, Chantel’s past is strewn with trauma. At the age of 12, she learned she was a child born of sexual assault.
“When I discovered this, I left home and sought out gangs,” she says. “I was searching for my sense of belonging. And I searched in all the wrong places.”
By 14, she had already endured the horrors of domestic violence. By 15, she was entrenched in the drug trade.
“So, then I started using,” she recalls. “I remember the first time I was handed an opioid, a five milligram Percocet. I instantly fell in love with what it did. It numbed my reality. It silenced the pain of life and of everything I didn’t want to face.”
Her opioid use escalated for years. She was in and out of jail for various crimes. One day, she found herself incarcerated next to her own daughter. Around that same time, Chantel’s mom passed away. It was this sense of life continuing on without her that sparked the realization that she wanted to change.
I made a promise to my mom when she died that I would move forward in a good way and not go back. I just knew I wanted to be a better mom, and I wanted to be a voice for other women.
Chantel was released on parole, partly due to the effort she put into this renewed purpose. Then, just as she was settling into her new life, she was thrown another curveball: her daughter’s partner died from fentanyl poisoning and she was left to help care for their two young children.
“I became an advocate and fought to find a voice for those kids,” she says. “I wanted to give back to the community and surround people with the love that I needed when I was stuck on the streets and active in my addiction.”
It was trauma that led Chantel to opioids, not the other way around. She wishes more people understood this cycle. Reflecting on the way society treats those struggling with addiction and treats harm reduction, Chantel says, “For me, it’s meeting people where they’re at, not telling them where I think they should be, not pushing them. Not making their decisions for them, but listening to what they need.”